Just an Update.. Mybe..

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Hi  Earthling's ! not my depression update, just normal update hopefully. Few people has been asking about my blog, thank you i guess.. for reading my nonsense. But again i'm glad to hear people are looking forward for an update. superb appreciate it !

Anyways! first things first.. COVID SUCKs ! second, since 'stay at home' life has been a norm for us now, my Anxiety has been suck. It's like my first time seeing the world and i have to interact with human AND being independent all together. as of now i can't go out alone in public by myself. i need my husband with me, because he will do all the talking and me.. just be me.. alive.. and wait for my husband.. 😂

Third, burnout. how it feels like hell. since covid.. and PKP,PKPD,MCO and whatever acronym use for this pandemic time. we have a limit of how many people that could enter the working area (i know that you know how the situation is don't act dumb now).  so it is 'understandable' that people are using 100% man power that they have at that time. For business sake? at some point it feels inhumane. people are losing some empathy and logical thinking during this time. imagine one person doing a three person job. IMAGINE it now ! at some point, food is not my priority. i skip meals to get my job done and loss sleep to continue doing my work. my weekend are my weekdays. i keep on saying " aku kerja macam lembu.." to my husband.. even cow's do eat and sleep, then what am i? 

But i manage to survive that situation.. barely...

hopefully..  

Forth, we have lost a very close relative because of covid. i'm a very complicated person. i feel sad but because of, i can't see him for the 'last time' i don't believe that he is gone. After this pandemic ends (i don't think it will ever ends) going back to my grandma house will be different. just because of him...Hari Raya will feel different without him.. his 'ketupat' are everyone fav. his humor are contagious. his laugh, sore and raspy voice will always be the one that we will always looking forward to hear. i remember the day they told us the news, my mom was in the kitchen. she cried at the sink, trying her best to not make a scene. but we all know it as if her soul has torn apart. it is her brother. the brother that she will always look for or ask for when she went back to her mother house. the brother that she will always update him on what her future plan, and what she has achieve. the same brother that she will always sit together and talk about life and silly stuff as if there were never tomorrow. 

we will always remember you pak lang. 

Anyways, as of now i'm back in the office. hopefully no more 'work from home'. or else i might lose my mind again. please no more MCO i can't handle another inhumane lifestyle. 😖 be safe guys! please be safe. no matter what vaccine you get and how many dose you have done. PLEASE BE SAFE. mask on and sanitize always. 😷




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