Update
it's been awhile.. i've been doing my internship for i think almost 2 month in and i can say it is a bit of a journey for me. first of all Alhamdulillah i got offered to be working permanently in that company, although i still have another 2 month to finished my internship. second of all i am bless to be among the best people that help me, keep me company when im at a very very VERY lowest point. i am truly bless to be friend with this people and meeting with them. Although i know this is not that some kind of depression update. But for the duration of 'me not updating anything' i can say it only occur once or twice. and it is a big thing for me, because i feel happy and enjoy being me.. being myself. for a moment i don't feel like killing my self or thinking about doing stupid stuff. although i might say there is a few things that triggered me, but so far it is safe to say that i can handle it quite well.. and i do proud of it.. even thought some might see it