toxic thought
i've been holding this back from posting it. but yeahh.. feeling depressed and super stress sometime you came across with 'toxic thought'. for the past week it have been somewhat hell for me. from project to research to assignment, somehow nothing good happened this week. i've been in bed all day for the past 4 days.. sleeping is like breathing for me.. and food are like poison. the thought of exiting my study and suicidal are everywhere. but thank god i'm still here. the bad part of me is.. i hate rejection and i despise repeating something. like redoing assignment, project and so on. for some people it may seem like nothing ' just do it again n submit'.. for me this thing is like 'i have failed to be a student..' or 'i'm stupid that is why i have to do it again'.
the worst part of all this problem is when the assignment that have been appointed to you is a 'group assignment.' like seriously.. who create this? personally i think that group assignment does not show any justice, because some people push their brain to the limit to produce good quality work and some are not. just imagine combining work with some people like this.. while you lose some sleep, less eat more work and other get credit for your effort. seriously? i hate it. even if the reason is to promote team work or leadership skill.. i personally think that it makes me have zero trust to anyone.. n gain enemies along the way. so why does this thing even a thing?
i've been crying for the past 3 days.. lucky me i have someone to tell me to eat and sleep till i feel better again.. or tell me that i am not stupid but rather an obstacle from god. and even help me forget about this thing by making stupid jokes and talking about cats and dogs.. thank you whoever you are..
p/s if there is any typos and weird spelling mistake.. please ignore em.. because i literally just woke up and decide to post this.. my vision is still blurry..
the worst part of all this problem is when the assignment that have been appointed to you is a 'group assignment.' like seriously.. who create this? personally i think that group assignment does not show any justice, because some people push their brain to the limit to produce good quality work and some are not. just imagine combining work with some people like this.. while you lose some sleep, less eat more work and other get credit for your effort. seriously? i hate it. even if the reason is to promote team work or leadership skill.. i personally think that it makes me have zero trust to anyone.. n gain enemies along the way. so why does this thing even a thing?
i've been crying for the past 3 days.. lucky me i have someone to tell me to eat and sleep till i feel better again.. or tell me that i am not stupid but rather an obstacle from god. and even help me forget about this thing by making stupid jokes and talking about cats and dogs.. thank you whoever you are..
p/s if there is any typos and weird spelling mistake.. please ignore em.. because i literally just woke up and decide to post this.. my vision is still blurry..
